Act 3, Scene 3
October 24, 2006
Okay, okay, coupla questions, coupla questions.
First, for you… Polonius? Why do you need to know what Hamlet and the Queen converse on? We’ve got you, coming to tell the King (Claudius) that Hamlet is going to his mother’s closet private room, and then just insert yourself into this situation.
So question: Wouldn’t it be more kinder to just… ask what went on? At least from the Queen. I’m thinking that she is on your side so..? I just think that all of this my spy your spy business if all just, I dunno. Kind of getting complicated. And I’m thinking also that it might get ugly real soon, if you catch my drift. You won’t be tending to your reputation for much longer, eh? Know-what-I-mean?
Secondly… Claudius. (Before I get into my inquisition, let me say, you make a lovely soliloquy, but I digress.) Yes, yes, you’d now like to repent yourself, but… why didn’t you think of all this beforehand? I suppose that you perhaps were a moron didn’t think of it, or thought that you could get away clean, but c’mon man! You kind of have to think these things through. Repenting, as you have said, doesn’t exactly solve everything.
Thricely, we move on to Hamlet. Alright, here’s where things are a bit tricky. We know that you want to make sure that you’re getting an ultimate revenge, but for the love of Denmark!, can’t you just kill the pompous bastard and get it done with already? In case you haven’t been paying attention noticed, Norway’s about to spank your royal heiny, so get your rear and gear and secure your position as well before something terrible happens!
